Surprise!
by Noone the Virgin
Summary: What could the Princess of Alabasta be planning? Come aboard and find out!


It happened again…

I was escaping from Rain Dinners with the Straw Hats, and I got scared from the thought of drowning down in the chamber Crocodile put us in. And while we surfaced…it happened. My…condition flared up. Literally.

I tried to play it off when we surfaced. The way I twisted it almost made me…Oh, this is too vulgar! I'll just come out with it: I had a giant…member. It suddenly appeared one day and I haven't been able to get rid of it since. But, I have to admit when it acted up, I liked the feeling. I had to tame it from time to time. I never thought a penis…oh forget it.

Having a penis had some benefits. The feeling of wanting to release was greater than any urge I've ever had. Sometimes I had fantasies of putting it inside of someone. It seems the only things I have are memories. Though Nami did tell me I should try to have fun.

Yes. Let's have some fun.

One night, me and Nami were ready to go bed. I told her about my penis and I was pretending to be meek about it. I wanted to shove it inside of her. I wanted to make her buckle at her knees. If I pretended I had problems with it, maybe she'll ease in and try to make me feel good.

But, she caught on to me. I'm not a good liar. "Here's an idea," Nami said to me. "Why don't you have fun with our cook? I'm sure he'll be eager to try some sausage." She grinned. I couldn't help but grin too. This could be fun!

Sanji was downstairs, cleaning the kitchen. As usual, he had a lollipop in his mouth, cherry. Well, he was about to get a cherry alright. Or should I say, a sucker?

"Sanji, hey!" He saw me and went bananas. "Oh, my beautiful blue beauty! For what do I have this pleasure of meeting you?" I came in closer to him, with a seductive look. As Miss Wednesday, it was easy to do. He was suckered in, just like that sucker in his mouth. He was a sucker for my charm. A total sucker for a pucker. I'll stop now.

But I didn't stop turning on my charm. We went to his room and got comfortable. He was still turning on his charm, but his nose was flaring up like he had a cold. I couldn't get cold feet, I had to show him my secret. "Hey, Sanji. Close your eyes for a minute." I told him. "Oh boy! I'm sure something sweet will come while my eyes are closed, surely sweeter than sugar or my lollipop!" He pressed his lips for a kiss. I couldn't help but snicker. I lifted up my gown and let my 'friend' out. As soon as the tip touched his lips, he gave a biiiiiiiiiiiiig smooch.

And he opened his eyes to his lips kissing the head of my penis.

"Look Sanji, surprise!" He shot across the room, seeing my large lager bratwurst. "Vivi, what is that massive meat between your delicate legs?" He shouted.

"My massive meat, silly! I wanted to show it to you!"

"Keep it, please! I need to wash my mouth out after tasting that terrible toblerone!" I feigned sadness. "Sanji, I thought I could rely on you. I have this big sausage just waiting be tended to and you, our wonderful cook won't even help me with it?" I started crying, but not as much as him.

"I can't turn down a lady's tears! It'll tear me apart! But don't you tell Zolo or Usopp about this, okay my sweet?" I jumped up in joy, my penis bouncing with me. "Thank you, Sanji! You're the best!"

The best indeed! He was a professional at oral sex! I couldn't believe this! Is this why he's so woman-crazy? I can't blame him. The sensation of climaxing and ejaculating is better than the highest quality food! I held his blonde hair and kept pushing up and down. His throat must have hurt from my throbbing treat, though he already sounds like he suffered from throat cancer. Maybe he should lay off the lollipops…and switch to the Princess' Package! I was ready to cum in his mouth, my first release in a long time!

"Oh Sanji!" He replied, muffled with my milk. It was amazing. He knew how to hit the right spots, his mouth warm and soft. It was the perfect place for a woman to put her dick in. But I wonder…what did the other hole feel like? I knew I could convince Sanji to let me fuck him raw in his ass. I gave his butthole a long lick.

Gross! I got his cooties in my mouth!

But it was enough to make his timbers shiver. After all, it's quite honorable to have a princess' saliva and tongue on the place where you make doo-doo.

Oh yes, I do-do, my sweet.

Sanji?!

Don't worry, my delectable darling! I'll narrate for you!

I let Princess Vivi have her way with me. I was turned away from her kielbasa but to break her heart would only kill me inside, so I had to do what a man should do in this situation: Let her unleash her womanly manhood inside of me!

"It's so tight," Vivi said. "But it's sooooo good!" I was happy for her, she could feel what I only hoped to feel one day with my nefarious navigator…I'll get you soon Nami, my sweet! But first, Vivi had to get me. I got hard from the sensation, the feeling of her peeny in my beeny! The thought of her doing that to me was enough, but this was something else! I don't think I could take anymore!

"Sanji, I'm about to…" She gave out, ready to blast me with her crème brulee. I grabbed her hand and told her, "Don't be afraid, let it out! Let out your whipped cream in my chocolate mousse!"

And let it out she did. A good sausage, with the right spices with a side of sautéed veggies, followed by a delicious, fluffy dessert. This night was perfect. The one that could make it better was if she let me –

"Oh dear. I'm tuckered out. That wore me out, Sanji. Thank you for helping me." He stood there, his prostate pulsating with my penis pudding plopping down the purple sheets on the plush bed. I'm pretty proud of my provocative partner here.

Okay, that's enough of the alliterations. "Oh Vivi, that was amazing." Sanji said. "I was tied up by your wonderful wand, I couldn't help but release myself. Won't you give ME the opportunity to make you feel good?" I smiled and turned back, showing my testicles and vagina.

"I hope you like meatballs!" His eyes turned into hearts. (How does he do that?) "Let's meet tomorrow night, my meaty mademoiselle!"

Speaking of meat, I hope he meant my balls.


End file.
